I am not a fan of New Year’s resolutions. I do, however, see the closing of one year and the opening of the next to be an opportunity for a little self-reflection, some evaluation of what has been, and creating a vision for what lies ahead. I believe in setting intentions. That way the thought is out there, but the odds of failure are much smaller. Here are some of the intentions I bring into 2010, especially regarding my role as a mom to a 24 year-old daughter who is being married in June, and a 26 year-old son who is making plans to launch his own recording label and tour the country doing what he loves - playing his guitar and singing his songs.
- It is my intention to do better at asking the right questions. Not the questions that sound nosey or obnoxious, but the questions that help me to know you better. How are you? How is the living situation going? What is new in your job? What are the challenges? How is your relationship going? What are you working on? What’s been fun lately? And it is my intention to listen to your responses.
- It is my intention to worry less. I’m not sure my kids have any idea of
- the frequency or content of my worries about them. As a member of our recent Parenting Twenty-Somethings group said, “It doesn’t do them any good to know we are worrying about them!” I will work on letting go of the unnecessary worries.
- It is my intention to be a really good mother-of-the-bride. (Is there such a thing?) I want to be helpful, calm, smart, open to all ideas, non-dominant, fun, creative, cooperative, accepting of crazy ideas, and full of wisdom to share. And I can’t forget the checkbook.
- It is my intention to recognize and talk about things that you have accomplished. I often remind parents of younger children to “catch them being good.” That should not stop when you leave home. And “accomplishment” is a relative term. We all set the bar a little differently.
- It is my intention to travel to where you are. We always love to be in your world. It helps us to know you better, and we have a lot of fun doing it.
- It is my intention to give you birthday and Christmas presents that are what YOU want or need, not what I think you want or need.
- It is my intention to be patient. You are in a transitional part of life, and I hope you enjoy it in all of its struggles, all of its fun, all of its unknowns. It’s okay if you take a long time to get to the point of self-sufficiency and settling down, if in fact you get there at all.
- It is my intention to have fun together. Now and whenever and forever more.
2 comments:
The wedding really will be the event of the year and it will require frequent revisiting of your intentions.
I think I worked to hard to make everyone in the wedding party happy and to keep bride and groom relaxed and not pressured. I was supportive of all style, food, music and ceremony choices despite some of them being very non- traditional.
I thoroughly enjoyed the things we made together like jam for favors, fan programs, garden changes,
creating music playlists, etc. The wedding was at our house so it was a long term project.
However, I failed to realize what an overwhelming thing it is to interact with the people from different aspects of our lives all at the same time. Surreal.
Also, I had been warned that there would be people whose personal need for special attention would take over all the pre ceremony parts of the wedding day. I did not believe this could happen to us, so I was completely unprepared when it did and then I ended up unshowered, in filthy shorts and t shirt ten minutes before the ceremony. Not a good way to go!
I love the To Do List;
My 28 year old is living with me, many challenges ahead. I will refer to your TO DO List, I know that is probably not what you call it, one thing I need to do is stop worrying.
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